loneliness strike

when you feel things around you is not the way you see it before - is hard. its not a simple one plus one equals two. an elementary math or a high school logic class..

im asking - at this point in my life where im heading? where i will be a year from now? am i still be in the same country? same job? same apartment? all the things sorrounding me will be the same?

its BORING! i know im not the type of person like that. i want to see changes around me. from myself to the people around me. to the buildings, cars and everything around me.

it was like an actor or actress in our local entertainment scene. you need to reinvent yourself for you to stay longer in the showbiz.

i always do the reinvention thing when im bored. new haircut - new highlights on my hair - new places to go to. eat here, go there.

still there is some loneliness inside. i know the reason, part of it. but the others of it i dont have any clue at all.

right now, all i wanna do is to start all over again. go to a very FAR FAR place. FAR from the PHILIPPINES. wherein i can start from scratch and only a few people will know me.

ive been good and ive tried being bad lately. its just like exploring what the other side of life offers. ive been so experimental about life the past years of my life. from living solo and away from my family and celebrating christmas and new year all by myself. ewan ko. di ko talga alam.

somebody asked me. where is my family daw. okay. iyong tatay ko - my second family cya. he is living with them. hindi naman kami mayaman na kaya rin nya kong sustentuhan kahit my second family na cya. my nanay - died when im only five. literally speaking para na pala akong ulila.

ewan ko. alam ko i can live independently. pero my time talga na darating na parang bakit ganun. ayoko na rin kasing mag isip. napapagod na ko.

and most of all - salamat sa mga online kuya and ate ko. hehehe.. thank you for the advise and for all the lessons na gusto nyong ituro sa kin. sorry sometimes im acting like a spoiled brat kid. gusto ko lang kasi makuha lahat ng gusto ko. hehehehe..

thanks thanks po... treat nyo ko dali.. madali naman ako pakainin.. dun sa resto na walang veggies. tapos kahit anong food na maisip. kahit fishball pa sa loob ng mall.. hehhee.. go tayo!


RJ said...

Parang nagda-drama ka, bro. kaunting emotion pa, tutulo na ang luha ko.

Isang blog post naman sa natuklasan mo on the other side of your life. Always remember, dapat morally, legally and spiritually acceptable yan ha.