family matters


i do not have a solid connection with my families now. as in from all of them. since i am hours away from Philippines, i seldom contact them. as in very seldom if you're gonna ask me lately. actually i told my father that i will be leaving Philippines to work abroad the day of my flight. 2 or 3 hours before my flight actually. how ironic no? maybe you're saying what kind of son i am. well, you are entitled to your own judgment and you can judge me the way you perceived things here in my blog.

since i have a conflict of my father, i thought that would be the best time to say goodbye. actually, i did plan of going in the province for one day just to personally told them that i'll be working abroad but it did not materialize because of busy schedules and of course the time i spent to process all my papers.

anyways, so there's the story of my father. then the second is my youngest brother. okay, from some time i am the one paying for his tuition fee in college. he is taking up HRM in CEU. for me kasi when i give money, it means that i gave it away totally. na hindi ko na isusumbat or what. parang naglaho na lang na parang bula. so for me, okay lang na bigyan cya ng money dahil para naman sa education nya iyon.

on my second month here, they know that i asked them to look for a cargo company that will ship my things left in Manila. honestly speaking, im bringing all my stuff here where i work now. so i asked them to look for a company with lower cost. kasi madami dami din iyon. cguro mga dalawang maleta pa with all my stuff like shoes, clothes, bags and etc. hehehe

at my first few months here, I'm in contact with my auntie in Batangas and to my cousin. but then when i called my brother if they already found a cargo company, all he said was naghahanap pa. it was already past three months since they know that and still no one showed up.

the past month, my brother asked me about his tuition fee again and for some occassion in the school that he needed to pay. so i gave the whole amount of the remaining tuition fee, and then the amount he asked. it was no issue at all. the issue came when i requested for the receipt of his tuition fee cause he said he sent it already to me and i said i did not receive any of the receipt.

inaway ako ng bata. sinend na daw nya sa email ko ung resibo ng tuition nya. ung sa babayaran daw nya, wala daw resibo cause school ang magbabayad sa hotel, so no per student receipt will be issued to them. eh sabi ko need ko ng resibo ng mga binayaran mo. so sabi ng bata, bakit daw ayaw kong maniwala na nagbayad cya. he already sent an email to me na naman daw with the letter discussed there kung how much ung babayaran and what is the reason they are doing that occassion. kung ayaw ko daw maniwala, pumunta daw ako ng school nya mismo at ako humingi ng resibo!!! pinilosopo ako ng bata. .. pag ako ginago mo, wala ka ng mapapala sa akin. my answer to him??

"hindi lang ung resibo ung hinihingi ko pati ung sa tuition fee mo. ginawa mo na dati yan.. nanghingi ka ng pera pero di mo binayad agad sa tuition mo. magtetext ka lang kapag my kailangan ka db? ung mga pinapadala kong damit d2 naayos mo na? hindi pa db? wag nyo ng isipin un dahil nakuha ko na mga gamit ko.. wala na kaung iisipin".

that was the second to the last message i sent to him. and here's the last:

"bahala ka kung wala kang resibo. huling padala ko na iyon. hindi na ko magpapadala. wala na rin itong number na ito pati na ung globe. hindi ko na gagamitin, ipapablock ko na."

hhehee.. galit na ko that time. inis na ko sa kanila.. isa iyon sa mga ugali ko na pag inis ako.. inis na talga ako.. after that, i ignored all the text messages they sent to my roaming number. even the messages in YM. i wanna feel them that i dont exists anymore. that i dont need them. they are only good to you when they can get anything from you.

dun sa cousin ko nainis na rin ako dahil sa kanya ko talga sinabi na maghanap ng cargo company but still wala pa rin until now. i gave all my things na nga sa knila eh, from my cabinet to my bed including the comforter and all, up to my clothes, wactches, shoes, and all... i give everything na i think sobra na sa akin. na its better for them to use it na lang than masira ang maluma lang.

the idea that they are good to you when you can give something to them and when you asked them a simple favor that they cant do, dun ako naiinis.. sobra.. i reached my limitation. hindi na ako natutuwa.

now, every once in a while they will send a text message, kamusta ka na, blah blah.. and my reply on my mind? whatever!.

and the latest text message that made my head heat up up to the sky is that when my brother, the one next to me sent me a text message like this:

"Oi inoobliga kita na magpadala ng pera kina tatay kada buwan. - including the amount".

oo. reasonable ung amount, pero the fact na inuutusan mo ko ng ganyan? dude watch out, i dont have the amor in my family anymore and i can say to the whole wide world. i tried to be kind, the kindest of them all, but what can they do to you? sigh.. they are one of the reasons why i changed a lot and become like this.

im still thinking pa. i dont know. pero wala na talaga akong amor sa pamilya ko.. sa kaibigan, sobra.. now, ill be going back to Manila at the end of the month, and im just planning to meet them one day each. balikan ang gagawin ko sa Manila. if they will ask me to stay overnight, my answer would be a BIG NO.. i will only bring a small bag with my wallet, my eyeglass, my sunglass and my ever reliable ZUNE.

and if im gonna bring pasalubong? konti.. as in konti. one box of chocolate i think would be enough.. wala nang umaapaw na mga pasalubong. sorry.. this is ME.