serious talk - part 2

lovelife. i was dreaming of a happy family someday though i did not have one. i never had a girlfriend. or maybe i was looking for a boyfriend?(hahah...joke) i thought this one is serious? hahha..ok.. let us go back to the story, i never had a girlfriend, though i have crushes in school before. why? dont know why. maybe i was not looking for one. i was just waiting for the right one to come into my life. some people say that i was lying when i told them that i never had even a girlfriend. i was just wishing for a happy family, that when i will have a girlfriend, i want her to be the first and the last. im not just looking for a girlfriend to have something to brag. i want a girlfriend whom i can be proud and at least i can say that she is my first and last girlfriend. that i want to share my life with her. i want to continue this journey of life with her, that im reaching my whole being to her. someone that will accept me for being who i am. for what i am and because she accepted the whole me.
its okay for me to get hurt. its part of the cycle and its okay for me have such pain than other people. i dont know where i get that idea. that i should be the one who should get hurt than the people taht i love, than the people that i cared about. its okay for me to have a heartache cause i know that time will heal the wound. that i will never seek a revenge for what people did to me. it hurts i know, but for just some time. the wound taht only the heart feel, will heal by time.

to the people that have touched my life and gave me a lesson, thank you very much. i know i wouldnt be this strong if not because of you. thank you and thank you.
to my friends whom i cared and treasure, thank you for being there for me when i was down and when i was in cloud 9. i was such a transparent person. and to dennis. i can also feel pain, sorry taht for the first time you saw me sad, that youre not used to it. that you told me you never saw me like taht. im just a human, i also have a limitation.

and to the people who made me feel special, who meade my heart beat faster than the normal rate, thank you for makign me feel that, even not for a lifetime. i dont know when God will give my better half. im just waiting, but heart also its limitation. do i sound bitter here? nah. i just told you that im just a human.

or is this the right time to enter the seminary? to reconnect with God and serve Him?

but that will be unfair to His part. i will just serve Him just because my life wasnt fair. i do want to enter one profession because im running out of the problem from my previous kind of life. i think it would end up here. my life is with god. He knows everything what will be good to me. Godbless us All..


kyels said...

I guess we cannot chase love because the more we chase for it, the harder it will get.

Let love come to you by itself. I do admit that I am looking for love too and seriously, I am getting tired as well but I am still optimistic.

We all want to love and be loved.


JoLoGs QuEeN said...

tama yan. hindi hinahanap ang pag ibig kusa yang darating. sabi ko nga sa sarili ko if 30 na ako then wala pa akong asawa siguro nga destined ako maglikod sa Diyos...hahahaha (^_^), mas gusto siguro ni papa Jesus na maging madre ako. (*_*)