good and bad

first the good news: i went to mendez today for my haircut and im happy with my look. satisfied. sorry that i said a wrong name when they asked me who is my stylist. i dont talk too much kasi. now i know that he's name is edgar. ^_^ sorry po. and im more comfortable now with them, before kasi i was so aloof eh, isang tanong isang sagot, all i wanna do is to have my hair done and i will be out of the place na. but now, i can say that im more relaxed.

bad news: the line in the cinema is very loongg. and i dont wanna wait. i want to be the first in line. talking about being a brat again. so what i did is i just went to this cafe and ate. and i have some problems with my laptop.

the worst: im having problems with my newly reformatted laptop - just last night. i put it back to xp - so that i can do some tweaks with the way it look - themes and icons.

im having some problems with some drivers and im not that technical in pc repair even though im a comsci grad. waaa.. so i will need to reformat it again and need to read some stuff about drivers.

im here now at netopia. downloading my drivers. my new drivers. cause i dont know which of the drivers i have had the problem.

tomorrow - i will be going to my tita in the province. i need to take a rest. and need to breath fresh air. and i will also do some reading. :D

so thats it for now! godbless everyone and happy long weekend! ill be back in the office by Thursday next week but ill be in Manila back on tuesday afternoon. see yah!

crazy me

one thing that is not good about me is when i dont wanna talk to some people or to certain people. its my characteristic na eversince high school. i do have this barkada eversince first year high school in the province, we were in a public school so all of the type of students were there. good thing though that im in the section one and i can say that we're good students.

kaya lang, this barkada of mine pinagtripan nila ko. im the type of person pa naman na pag nagjoke kau and kulitan time di ako mapipikon. but that time was so different. ako pinagtripan nilang itago ung bag and my other things. so when i asked them kung nasan ito they did not give it to me until the time na nabadtrip na ko and i know na hindi nila gustong nababadtrip ako. hindi ako iyong tipo ng tao na kapag nabadtrip hindi uso ang konting lambing lang and were back to normal again.

so anong ginawa ko sa mga kaibigan ko na iyon? HINDI KO SILA KINAUSAP ng BUONG SCHOOL YEAR. even if we belong on the same class, kahit makasalubong ko sila sa corridor ng building, seems like i dont see them. sabi ko nga pakialam ko. kaibigan kita dati pero ginawan mo ko ng ganito. i also have other circle of friends. mabaet naman akong tao.

if you will analyze it, simple lang naman. pinagtripan, nagalit, nag sorry, dapat ok na di ba? but not with me. i think differently sa mga ganitong bagay.

another kwento was iyong story about the yellow paper. when i go to school i make sure na i have all the things that i need. ayoko kasi ng nanghihingi or nanghihiram. that day was our periodical test sa science, 2nd year high school section mangga. thanks to my memory. hehehe
umatake that time iyong sumpong ko, sabi ko this time ako naman manghihingi, hindi iyong lagi na lang magbibigay. so nanghingi ako ng paper sa mga kaibigan ko. dun pa kasi nila ako pinaupo sa upuan na malapit sa kanila. pero up to test 1 na wala silang binigay na papel. sumama loob ko nun. talagang sabi ko bakit pag ako im giving all of what i have to my friends but what do i get in return? hindi sa nagsusumbat ako or what, but sinumpong lang ako that time na ako naman ung manghingi.

up to fourth year di ko sila kinausap, even classmates kami from first year to fourth year. and i even made them cry because of the petty misunderstanding that we had. and i dont care about it that time.

di ko rin alam bakit ako ganun. pero i can control that naman eh, especially now at my age. mahaba naman ung patience ko, but the problem is wag lang matitiyempuhan or masasagad ung pasensya na iyon.

sa mga ganitong pangyayari ako lang ang makakapag sabi kung kelan kita gustong kausapin. alam ko ung right time when it comes on my way.

on the two examples above - i talked to my barkada both in 4th year na. nung malapit na ung graduation. and im the one who did the first move. and thank god na up to this day were still friends and we are just laughing on what we had on our high school days. a lot of changes had happened both physically and mentally speaking.

the lesson of the story:
i have the patience in talking to other people, i can be kind to those who are kind to me but i can be the devilish person you will ever know if you did not treat me good. as what i say and observed: "people are being bad because of the people around them. even the kindest person has his limits. and he changed to a person he can never imagined".

people come and go into our life. and i treasure those people who remain my friends. new people are coming in our way and we get excited because they are new. but as the time goes by, they will be like your old schoolmates or classmates - shining on the first time you met but losing its glow as the time you started knowing them.

so how to maintain the glow? ask my high school friends. they know the answer.

and why am i able of doing these things? simple. i can play with my emotions. not all the time im using emotions. sometimes im just being cerebral. no emotions at all. just going with the flow where it will take me.


david.edward signing off..

one serious post to those who i treat as my friends and to those who wants to know me.
i can be such a spoiled brat and act like one, but i know when to trigger this syndrome. better watch out baka kaw na maging next victim ko.! :p

panaginip

how many times im dreaming leaving this country. di ko din alam bakit. at iyong pagsakay ng eroplano na iyon, hindi cya domestic flight. it was an international flight requiring a passport and a visa.

hindi ko naman alam pano mangyayari iyon. kahit meron akong US visa na anytime puede akong bumisita at magliwaliw dun, san naman ako magsstay? eh wala naman akong close relatives na nandun. at ayokong mag feeling close sa mga iyon. hahaha... user na matatawag iyon.

pero tingin ko hindi na nga ako masaya sa posisyon na nandun ako. pero alam ni lord god na im so thankful for all the blessings na narereceive ko from Him.

iniisip ko, san ko ba dadalhin ang sarili ko? saan ba ko dapat pumunta? pano ko ba ibabalik sa dati ang "ngayong ako"?

pero sa totoo lang, gusto kong bumalik ng US. kasi kapag nandun ako, nabibili ko lahat ng gusto ko. oo material na bagay lang. pero masaya na ko sa materyal na iyon. dahil emotional aspect, nalalabanan ko naman iyan. cguro magsasave muna ko dun and i will live my life the way i imagined. pero cyempre only God knows how and when and what is good for me.

im just praying for this to happen.. david.edward wishing.. hoping..

loooong weekend

this is it! as in this is it! were going to have a long weekend this week. hays.. saya saya.. imagine 4 days un oh! ang lufet! wednesday next week na ang pasok.. wuhuuu! at bakit naman kasi magaganap itong mga ito? dahil sa Pasay Day daw. hehehe.. so alam nyo ng sa bandang Pasay ako nagwowork.. hehehe.. umalis na ko ng Makati after more than 2 years ng pagwowork sa lugar na iyon.

pero eto ang bago! since meron ngang holiday na 2 araw next week, kailangan namin na irender ung mawawalang oras. pano? OT ito! hahaha.. thursday and friday tig 4 hours each ang mangyayari. so mga 10 or 11 pm na kami uuwi.. huhu.. at eto pa ulit ang malufet, ang OT na iyon next year na ififile kasi nakaleave nga ung director namin di ba? eh pag inapproved un ng OIC namin ngaun, makikita nya ung salary ng bwat isa. so iniiwasan din un ng director namin. at dahil dun, isang saludong sundalo! hehehe..

iniisip ko pa kung uuwi ako sa tita ko sa province para naman makapag pahinga at hindi ako mapagastos.. hay.

pede ba sa inyo muna ko? hehehe.. dont worry dadalin ko comforter ko at unan. hehehe

on night diff and OT pay

hindi ko talga maintindihan anong ginagawa ng finance namin dito bakit late sila nagbabayad ng night diff at ng OT pay. thinking on the first place na - the services was already rendered to the company. iyong tipong halos sumuka ka na ng dugo kakanight shift (OA! hahaha)..

ewan ko talga sa knila. sino ba naman my gusto ng night shift? gusto ko naman cya sa ilang kadahilanan pero ayaw ko sa maraming dahilan..

gusto ko cya dahil tahimik. at talagang work to death ka jan. pero ang ayaw ko sa kanya - nagkakapimple ako pag nagninight shift ako.. and ang panget ko na, dadagdag pa ba ko sa "pollution" ng mundo kung magiging panget pa ko? disclaimer: hindi ko po sinabing "pollution" sa mundo ang mga panget na tao, sariling pananaw ko lang ito at para sa pansariling interes, hindi sakop ang ibang tao sa paligid ko. pag nagreact ka pa - well sorry na lang nagpa-apekto ka.

so pag nagkapimple ako - pupunta ako ng derma para ipaayos na naman ang mukha ko. para pakinisin at alisin ang hindi magandang tanawin sa aking mukha.

at higit sa lahat - hindi naman nababayaran ng tama ung night diff namin. kung sa call center 15% ang night diff nila at ito rin ang binibigay nila sa amin - i think hindi naman ata tama ito. from the previous IT company that we worked for - 30% ang night diff. IT people po kami hindi call center agent. our line of business or the line of work we are doing is far more different from what the people on the other side of the people is doing.

tapos kapag pay day na, wala pala ung night diff mo and ung OT pay mo.

and for this payday imagine - ung OT na nirender ko ng night shift ng sat and sun last Oct pa - is hindi pa nabayaran. well whats new? they are always late.

im not complaining about the work im doing - its my job and my responsibilities. pero kapag ung time dumating na ang mga negative vibes sa paligid mo ay nagsasabay sabay na - para gusto ko ng bumigay. hindi na maganda epekto nito sa sarili ko at sa mga tao sa paligid ko.

hindi ako nagbibilang ng perang nakukuha ko sa kompanyang ito - dahil ang payslip ko kinukuha ko lang, tinitignan, tinatago. wala pa kong nireklamo ni isa sa mga payslip na nkuha ko simula ng pumasok ako dito sa kompanyang ito. ni hindi ko na nga nachecheck kung tama or mali minsan. basta my sweldo, nabubuhay ako - okay lang.

hay.. san na ba ko patungo? parang ang dami ko ng reklamo. tsktsk.. isa lang ibig sabihin nito these days - im not enjoying it anymore. un lang!

REF*D9 + SQL Error + 824 = Stress

stress to the max! potek! kamusta naman iyon? hay.. sobrang hay.. pero after ng 4 days - imagine four days ko ginawa ung investigation na iyon.. at sumakit ang utak ko ng sobra.. nagkaroon na ata ng internal hemorrhage sa aking brain. hay talga..

as of the moment, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko pero i made it a point na matapos today iyong dapat kong matapos. dapat kahapon pa cya tapos but due to unexpected dbase error and bug ng ginagamit naming application, ngaun lang ako natapos. after 10 years! actually on what i feel right now, para na naman akong magkakasakit pero please naman ayoko ng magkasakit! please please..

tingin ko sobrang stress lang ito ng katawan. stress from the past week and started yesterday. late na ko nakauwi kahapon - past 8:30 pm. sobra na sa office hours. di naman nagfifile ng OT kasi marami pang dapat ifill-up at iexplain why need mag OT. so para matapos lang, cge work lang. wag ng magfile ng OT. magkano lang ba madadagdag sa kaban ng yaman ko? ni hindi ko nga maramdaman ung night diff nila eh.

anyways. thank god natapos na rin ako. as in.. hays..

boy mode

kamusta? what did i do on this day? i woke up late. around past 1 pm then had a noodles for my first meal of the day.

after that kuwentuhan muna with ate jaja, kasi nandito cya sa house. so nung matapos iyon, i started cleaning the whole house na. boy mode na naman. so nagmove ng mga furnitures dito sa loob ng house then nagwalis and naglampaso ng floor. even ung pagtatapon ng mga basura kasi wala namang nagtatapon eh.

nag re-arrange na rin ako ng mga furnitures sa loob ng bahay. ung sofa and tv iniba ko ng posisyon and even the curtain inayos ko pa. then nagwalis ulit ako to make sure na malinis ung floor and for the second time naglampaso ako.

the next thing i did is tinawagan ko ung laundry shop kasi pinadeliver ko na sa house ung mga pinalaundry kong mga damit for more than two weeks then pina pick up ko na rin ung mga damit ko for the past more than a week. daming maruming damit lolz..

last thing i did is inayos ko ung room. hahaha.. nag iba na ung hitsura sa loob totally. kasi share kami ng room ni josh, eh i have a double size bed and single bed ung kanya so ang problem mas malaki ung size na maooccupy ng kama ko, so un ikot dito ikot dun tapos! hahahhaa.. pati ung cabinet nasa ibang position na rin. im happy naman sa naging hitsura nya for now.

lastly naligo na ko kasi feeling ko lagkit lagkit ko na. maglinis ba naman ng buong bahay di ako pagpawisan.

i had dinner na din dito sa house. nagluto ako ng rice and nagfry ng spam, di ko alam bakit gusto ko kumain ng spam these days. hahaha..

david.edward signing off...

kakatamad

nakakatamad na. bakit ganun? bakit laging my saturation point? bakit hindi na cya katulad ng dati? ung tipo na alam mong tatagal ka sa trabaho mo ng ilang taon kasi masaya ka? bkit nawawala na ung magic sa work? bkit bakit? ang hirap hanapin ng sagot.

proseso ba? tao ba? ung ginagawa ko ba? alin ba talga? magulo. uu. magulo utak ko ngaun dahil di ko alam san ko na gusto pumunta. ni hindi ko na nga alam kung naeenjoy ko pa ung ginagawa ko. dahil dati masaya ako sa ginagawa ko ultimo sabado willing ako pumasok. pero ngaun? magpapahinga na lang ako kesa sa pumasok ng sabado. manonood na lang ako ng tv at tutunganga ng sabado.

ang laking kaibahan. bakit nga ba? alam ko rin naman sa sarili ko na im not giving my best 100%. ewan. basta. ayoko na. i give up. magulo. sobra.

my opening ba sa inyo? hahahha.. pa-apply naman. ^_^

sa wakas

sa wakas nakadalaw na rin ako sa sementeryo.. hehehe.. ang aga ko gumising 6:30 am pa lang nakabangon na ko sa higaan ko at nag ayos na.. nakaalis ako ng house ng 7 am and nag cab na ko papunta sa terminal ng victory.

medyo nagtanong pa nga ako sa counter kasi mali ung bus number na nakasulat sa ticket ko sa bus na nakapark. pero sabi sa akin, magpapark pa lang daw ung bus na sasakyan ko. fine. pero dun din kami sumakay sa nakapark na bus na hindi ung nakasulat sa ticket. hahaha..

nagkita rin kami ni gheena kasi nagpasama ako sa kanya then pumunta kami kina che and tumambay sa bahay ulit nina ghee kasi nagkwentuhan kami.

im happy seeing my old friends again. and im glad to know that they are happy also to where i am right now. hahahha.. alam ko panget ako dati. hahahha..

so iyon na muna for now. :D
pictures next time.

Undas

ill be visiting the cemetery tomorrow and in order to do that i need to go to the province. hehehe.. so for me to do my plan and be back here in metro by night, need kong kumilos ng maaga. no time to wake up at around lunch time hehehe..

ill be meeting a friend and asked her to accompany me kasi natatakot ako mag isa. hahaha.. wala na kasing tao pag ganitong time. but last year i managed to do that. hehehe..

napanaginipan ko na rin kasi lola ko eh. need ko na talaga siguro cyang bisitahin. and ung nanay ko, need kong magpakita sa puntod nya.

im not sure as ive said in my previous post kung dadaan pa ko sa tatay ko sa bahay nya. kasi cyempre kasama nya asawa nya dun which is im not ready to face again. tska mas enjoy ako when im with my high school friends. hehehe.. need to catch up things with them.

so iyon na muna for now. Bataan here i come. Welcome me once again. ^_^

Xenoah 2

i watched this movie kanina sa MOA while looking for other things na puede kong gawin while im inside sa mall.

here are my observations:
-> first movie na napanood ko sa movie house na sobrang konti ng tao. pang tatlo lang ata ako.
-> ang panget ng resolution nya sa big screen.
-> ang babaw ng storyline.
-> ang panget ng acting ng ibang tao, parang naglalaro lang na hindi maganda sa big screen.
-> masyadong panget ang mga scene sa first part ng movie. parang di connected sa movie.

sa nakita ko sa taas, puro negative comments. hahahhaa.. ang maganda namang part ng movie is ung mga xenoans na lumabas at nakipag away sa mga pulis.

pero ung fight scene na malapit sa ending parang wala lang. hahaha..

dami pang palpak sa movie na ito. actually gusto ko na ngang lumabas eh dahil sa wala ngang tao tapos ang panget pa dun sa simula.

so iyon na lang muna sa ngayon. hehehe

laptop reformat

i reformat again my laptop and its back to vista once again. hahaha.. kasi naman i installed style xp eh its not working pala on vista (style xp nga eh), all i want is para machange ko lang naman how my desktop, icons, cursors will look like. so nagloko even ung icons ng vista nagloko loko na..

so i decided to re-install again all the application that i have in my pc. and good thing kasi meron na kong ym installed ulit. hindi na ko magwewebmessenger. hehehe...

bored sa house kaya im here now sa mall - sa isang cafe. pero not sa starbucks or sa bk. hehehe.. secret na lang kung saan.

im installing na rin pala ung driver ng zune ko - my mp4 slash video player.

sick..

im sick for today! shocks.. natuluyan ako.. kahapon dapat di ako papasok dahil hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko, pero dahil my lunch ang team together with the director - nakaleave kasi si ms anne and january of next year na namin siya makikita ulit- pumasok ako, pero i told myself na pag di na talga maganda ung pakiramdam ko ng hapon, maghahalf day ako but what happened is natuloy ako ng whole day.

this morning hirap na kong bumangon - past 9 am na pero nakahiga pa rin ako nakabalot ng kumot ang buong katawan. sinabi ko na lang sa kasama ko na hindi ako papasok pero pag umokay pakiramdam ko maghahalf day ako. but sad to say nagising ako magtu twelve na. and nakahiga lang ako ng whole day. natutulog but i take my meds naman eh. so at the moment i think im okay na..

ang hirap ng feeling mo may lagnat ka sa loob ng katawan mo pero sa labas sinat lang. sana nilagnat na lang ako di ba?

well, good thing friday na tomorrow. and rest day na sa saturday. wink wink

loneliness strike

when you feel things around you is not the way you see it before - is hard. its not a simple one plus one equals two. an elementary math or a high school logic class..

im asking - at this point in my life where im heading? where i will be a year from now? am i still be in the same country? same job? same apartment? all the things sorrounding me will be the same?

its BORING! i know im not the type of person like that. i want to see changes around me. from myself to the people around me. to the buildings, cars and everything around me.

it was like an actor or actress in our local entertainment scene. you need to reinvent yourself for you to stay longer in the showbiz.

i always do the reinvention thing when im bored. new haircut - new highlights on my hair - new places to go to. eat here, go there.

still there is some loneliness inside. i know the reason, part of it. but the others of it i dont have any clue at all.

right now, all i wanna do is to start all over again. go to a very FAR FAR place. FAR from the PHILIPPINES. wherein i can start from scratch and only a few people will know me.

ive been good and ive tried being bad lately. its just like exploring what the other side of life offers. ive been so experimental about life the past years of my life. from living solo and away from my family and celebrating christmas and new year all by myself. ewan ko. di ko talga alam.

somebody asked me. where is my family daw. okay. iyong tatay ko - my second family cya. he is living with them. hindi naman kami mayaman na kaya rin nya kong sustentuhan kahit my second family na cya. my nanay - died when im only five. literally speaking para na pala akong ulila.

ewan ko. alam ko i can live independently. pero my time talga na darating na parang bakit ganun. ayoko na rin kasing mag isip. napapagod na ko.

and most of all - salamat sa mga online kuya and ate ko. hehehe.. thank you for the advise and for all the lessons na gusto nyong ituro sa kin. sorry sometimes im acting like a spoiled brat kid. gusto ko lang kasi makuha lahat ng gusto ko. hehehehe..

thanks thanks po... treat nyo ko dali.. madali naman ako pakainin.. dun sa resto na walang veggies. tapos kahit anong food na maisip. kahit fishball pa sa loob ng mall.. hehhee.. go tayo!

sick

im not feeling well at the moment. it started last monday and up to now, i still feel the same. sometimes it is gone but then when i did not notice it for a little while im feeling a bit odd again. sigh..

hope that i can make a leave. sick leave. when all these work are done.


*no stress no stress no stress..

the wine

i never tried to drink an alcoholic drink before, not once. my cousins and my tito's are asking me to drink with them everytime there was a party at home before. from san mig light to black label to johnny walker. i know that those times devil are working on me. hahahhaa..

i came to a decision that i will try the "wine". our college dean told me thats its okay to drink as long as it is wine, because it is not like other alcoholic drink that has high alcohol level. and for social gathering, i need to be familiar with this type of alcohol beverage.

i dropped by at SM hypermart before going home and chose Carlo Rossi wine - white wine to be exact. a one bottle will make a difference on my life. if i will continue and try to drink wine or not. it will take a lot of courage from my within to try this one.

i put it first in the fridge the time i got home and after more than an hour, im finally pouring some liquids of that alcohol to my glass. am i excited? a little bit. cause i really dont know whats the taste and what to expect. but based on the smell, i dont like it. hahahhaa

i tasted it, one sip after the other. three to five sips are okay, but i still dont like the taste. definitely not. then on the next sip the feeling that i want to puke because of the smell and the taste. that is the time ive told myself to stop. just drink your softdrinks rather that the "wine". hahahaha

i dont know if i will still try to taste it. maybe the red wine tomorrow. which one is better? the red or the white?

"the devil"

suplado

i know i am one and i hope you dont have a problem with that. hahahhaa.. well, i admit it naman eh, na im really suplado. im not the friendliest person you'll ever meet on the first time we will see each other. kasi dahil nga sa suplado ako, pag hindi kita gustong kausapin, i will not make a move to talk to you, if you wanna talk to me - approach me but im not promising that i will be that accomodating.

i can be as civil as i can be. mabaet naman akong tao. pero minsan talaga my sumpong ako. pasensya na. at ung sumpong na iyon minsan di lang isang araw tumatagal. person based un. hahhaha.. kung ikaw un, well sorry na lang sabi ko nga.

sometimes mahirap din kasing maging sobrang mabaet ka. people will take you for granted. nakakainis lang ung thought na iyon. well okay lang din. kung ayaw ko sa ibang tao, meron din naman na my mga taong ayaw din sa akin - in as much i exert all the effort to befriend all of the people - at wala akong magagawa kung ayaw mo sa akin.

sabi ko nga - i am not pushing myself to those people who doesnt want me. i know my limits. kaya nga ako suplado. meron akong sariling mundo.

Weekend Plan

its already middle of the week and im planning what i will do on my coming weekend. hmm..

first, attend a kid party in Pasig on Saturday. second on Sunday, go to province to visit my lola and my nanay sa sementeryo. well, im still thinking if i will visit my tatay. im bad, i know. :p

and since im in the province na, i will check my barkada na rin in high schoo. wink wink. excited!

new layout - SB Planner

as i was saying in my last post that my site is crumbled and disoriented, i took an effort to finally fix it out. and yes, i succeeded in doing that task. hehehe.. yipEe!

as you can see, BROWN is OUT. BLACK is IN.

i can be a DEVIL now.. BWAHHAHAHA..

lastly, SB has just starting their planner promo in case you want to have one - just go to the nearest SB branch and have yourself a frap or a hot drink. every cup of drink is equivalent to one sticker.

right now, i do have two. and one more good news! instead of 24 stickers like what they did last year, this 2008 you only need a total of 16 stickers! 8 stickers for special drink and 8 for regular one.

so race to one planner? hahahha.. give me two weeks! hahhaha

crumbled!!!!

well, first thing - sorry for the distorted lay out that you are seeing in my blog nowadays. its a result of changing my blog's theme last week which is obviously did not push through, thus the result of my blog layout in the present time.

i'll try to edit it once again. but not at the moment. i have a lot of things that i need to do. work related.

im tired. dead tired. i dont know why. rants? stop me! hahaha..

okay. this is it. david.edward signing off..

Clear Black Night

I went to Taste Asia in MOA last Friday night, Oct 31 2008 for the Clear Black Night Party. My plan was just to meet Ate Sire since it will be the second time we will be seeing each other after the Belo event last August.

We had fun. A lot of people attended the event. And i only see few familiar faces. I did take a photo of me with some people especially the two Brazilian models - wink wink..

and presenting the picture that i love the most.



Till next time! Thanks to Ate Sire for the company, and to Ate Lace - nice chatting po. Salamat sa lahat.. iyong pictures ate grab ko ah.. :D

david.edward signing off