masama ba kung tumulong ako?

of course not! im just being kind to other people.. this afternoon kasi while waiting for others at the side door of the hotel, eh its raining and we dont have the key of the car, so we waited there for a few minutes. 15 mins or more i think, then there is this couple entered the door and go directly to their room in the first floor. eh kita naman ung hallway ng side ng hotel na un, then nakita namin cya. he said na "the card is not working" referring to the keycard of their hotel room and nakatingin cya sa amin even his wife. so i guess he is talking to us. and he also said maybe it is because of the rain. so ang mabaet na edward "umepal". bakit epal? i told the guy to go to the frontdesk and have his key fix. ang sagot ng lolo mo? "i know what to do". FINE.. barado ako.. im just helping.. natatawa na nga mga kasama ko.. then the guy spoke again, "i just dont want to get out and get wet of the rain". hindi pa rin ako natinag. ang sagot ko, "there's a way over there (inside) going to the front desk.". wag kasing tanga.. JOKE! hahaha.. then he said "Thank You". aun.. so quits na cya.. FINE.

hay.. mga tao talga dito.. last thursday naman, sa hospital my tinanong kami sa doctor (another story na ung hospital), then sabi ng doctor, "youre my patient (referring to our officemate), youre the one who ask questions and i will answer. cause theres a lot of people here. im not gonna answer their questions." sobrang baet ni dok! hahaha.. miss ko mga doktor sa pinas.. hehehe..
then ung nurse naman, sobrang busy ata. parang wala sa sarili. binigay ung gamot ng friend namin, then ako nagtanong how many tablets are we going to buy in the pharmacy and till when he (friend) is going to take the meds. (buti na lang meron akong OJT sa hospital) hahaha.. sabi nya babalik daw cya. fine. then pagbalik nya my kausap na ung friend namin sa phone. sabi nung nurse, "ok, ill be back cause i have other patient to take care". FINE ate.. hahaha..

walang sincerity ang mga nurse at doctor dito.. PERA pERA ang labanan.. hehehe ;)

pakikipagbuno

araw araw na lang ay isang pakikipag buno sa pagbabasa ng crosswalk.. pero kung susuriin mo naman, madali lagn naman ang dapat gawin. bakit nga ba? tulad na lang nito:

gusto mong kumain ng chicken joy: ang gagawin mo pupunta ka sa jollibee.

eh sa crosswalk? gusto mo ng chicken joy? check mo muna ung manok ng kfc, pag di masarap punta ka sa mcdo. pag hindi pa rin saka jollibee. pagdating naman sa jollibee, bibigyan ka ng iba pang pagkain at walang chicken joy. last na ung chicken joy.

daming palabok di ba? kamusta naman un?!
araw araw ay isang pakikipag buno ang pagbabasa ng crosswalk.

hindi ba pedeng direct to the point?

like eto pa: magsaing ka ng bigas ng tanghali.
version: check mo kung my bigas pa, pag meron magsaing ka. (pano ko magsasaing kung walang bigas? naman).

hay hay hay..

yan lang reaction ko sa crosswalk!

new lay out.. missing links..

just updated my blog lay out from Eblogtemplates.com and the problem are my sidebars. they are now missing in actions. the links, the text, the chatbox.. need more time to debug/reconfigure this lay out. but its already 11:26 pm here. need to rest first. Godbless!

uuwi pa ba?

ayun oh! nice title?! hahaha.. why naman kasi that title.. look at the pic below..


oh di ba? parang di na ko uuwi ng pinas! at parang dito na talga ko nakatira.. sa dami ng damit, sapatos at kung ano ano pa.. tsktsk..

pero cyempre uuwi pa rin ako ng PINAS once na pinauwi na ko..

madami lang akong nabiling damit dito.. and shoes. actually 2 pair of shoes lang dala ko nung pagpunta ko dito..and ung damit, cguro mga 10 clothes. pamasok sa office and pantulog. un lang..
pero lumobo ng ganyan karami dahil kakabili ko..

hingi ka ng damit? weee.. ayoko nga.. hahaha.. bayaran mo ko.. dollars! bwahahha

my meez

been good.. now bad..

am i good? or bad? gotcha! been a good boy before with no marks of being a bad guy. but now is a totally different story.

the good side of me:
im mabaet naman before. my lola was my guardian, though i have a father. pero he has his own second family three years after my mom died. we're not rich nor poor as i say. kasi we eat naman three times a day. and the life before was totally different with the life that we experience nowadays (im talking in general - mahal na lahat ngaun pati bigas my krisis). okay. im so grateful to my lola na she taught me a lot of things. kahit personality wise, it really help me even today. what kind of son i was before? takot akong gumawa ng mali. my takot ako sa loob ng katawan na everytime i did something wrong there is an equal punishment. my mali lang akong masulat sa notebook ko during elementary days, my father scolded me for the small thing that ive done wrong. when he saw me playing, he will asked me why am i playing, and will ask me if i dont have an assigment to do? blah blah.. and of course, before i play ive already did my part. i know my resposibility. mabaet ako kung sa mabaet dati. like i am always on the right side. on the top list. with good people and friends sorrounding me, people that will not do wrong but always good. baet ko no? of course my takot pag gumawa ng mali.

but with this kind of life that i had, i have grudges. i have anger in my heart. im trying to release and forget it, but im only human that it cant be easily remove from my system.

with all the medals and the recognition that i received during elementary days was not enough to make him proud of what ive achieved and never did i remember that he said to me na he is proud of my achievement. im always on my own and my lola. i even remembered during my elementary graduation, my tita pa who bought my clothes and prepared it for me. *grudges attack.. hahaha..

i graduated third honor in elementary - thanks to one point advantage. i enrolled myself in high school all through out from first year to fourth year. and i stayed and maintain my grades to be in section one. i enrolled myself in a public high school because when i went to the private school and inquire slashed ready to enroll myself i forgot my card in elementary which is their requirement. and good thing though i dont feel good about the school cause there is two man smoking in front of the gate. as a freshman it gave me a bad image and reputation of the school. i just followed my cousin in a public high school. bad thing though is that im not anymore in the top five, nor in the top ten. i dont know. hahaha.. but i do know in myself that i am in the top 20 percent of the class. hahaha.. my nakita kaya akong paper na pang eleven ako.. nyahahhaa.. pero it makes me feel bad kasi parang im so bobo na that time,. but i do accept the fact na its not my time and its just okay, i told myself.

college - i went to Columban College for a year and a half to study Computer Science and then i asked my tita to tell my father to let me go and study in the Metro and live with my cousin whom i can say have a more stable life. it was a hard time asking for that thing cause i know he wont let me go for a fact that i dont know. even before i went to college i already asked him to allow me to go to Manila to earn my college degree, but to no avail. FINE.. binabagsak ko na nga exam ko eh. pero ayaw pa din ni God. ito namang Columban sabi ko ComSci kukunin ko, sabi ba naman mag Engineering daw ako dahil pasok ang entrance exam result ko sa course na un.. Pede ba, pede ba.. okay.. i took the course for a year and a half and then the time came na pumayag na rin ang dakila kong ama na sa Maynila ko na ipagpatuloy ang college ko..

Manila - hindi ako ang naghanap ng school ko, its my cousin na guy. he was the one na nanguha ng mga brochure and of course kung san macredit ung mga natake ko ng subjects. and one thing, university is a BIG NO NO! why? because of the ROTC! seryoso! kaya ayoko ng university is dahil jan sa lecheng ROTC na yan.. di kaya ako makanood ng 5 and up pag linggo dahil sa subject na yan! hahaha.. and nangingitim na ko.. too bad for me.

so sa STI ako napadpad. ok naman. i continued my study in STI with the same course. dito ko na feel na i can do it. na i have something inside and the capability to stand on my own and above the rest. ngek. bakit my ganun?! hahaha.. wala lang.. sa STI ko naregain ung negative zero self-esteem ko and ung confidence level ko. i just feel proud when i got good grades and of course high scores on my exams. but i keep it to myself. after two years of studying in Manila, dun lang ako kinumusta ng tatay ko.. kamusta naman un? but dont you worry i dont feel that i do have a father, because since then i feel that i am alone in this game called life but of course with my lola.

years passed and 2005 came. i graduated college with honors. pero seriously speaking i dont know that im running for laude. kasi nasa school lang ako pag my klase ako, ganun lang. but thanks to all my professors who believe in me. especially Ma'am Alley Dioso - our Dean and para ko na ring nanay. she gave me advises and she knows my story.

ung tatay ko i cant remember if he text me that time. not sure na. basta ang sabi ko, pag pumunta cya sa graduation ko di ako aakyat ng stage, cya kumuha ng medal ko mag isa. hahaha.. now im turning into a bad person. its just the start of all.

i went here sa US last year ng di nagpapa alam sa kanya cause i dont feel the need to do that. right after my lola died, i feel like i am alone and its only me in this world. thats the effect of teaching your son the word - INDEPENDENT.

yes. I live my life now INDEPENDENTLY. hindi na ko nakikitira sa mga kamag anak ko right after they told me bad words na i feel i dont deserve cause i did not do anything wrong for them to react like that. they bad mouthed me but yet i keep my silence. i dont feel the urge to explain cause maybe im just tired of explaining myself cause in the end it is still their mind who will prevail on what they wanted to think about me.

BAD edward. yes i am bad now. wala na kong pamilya. di na ko nagpaparamdam sa knila. im living with my friends. i pay for my food, my space. lahat ako na. and i feel like it should be. this is the life that i want. the FREEDOM that i never had. the FEAR that i have is lost. cause i feel that i have the POWER now to conquer everything. that i can do anything.

my family on my mother side is fine. i have a good relationship with them pa rin naman since i am the first apo and they know the whole story and the reason why i feel and act like this nowadays.

i miss my LOLA. sobra! she is the only person that can understand and accept me for whatever things i do. right or wrong. it is from her where i feel i was loved. not on my own father or brothers. it was only HER. i know na she protect and guide me everyday. pero i MISS her na sobra. if she is only alive at this moment wherein i regain myself and on this status, im gonna let her feel that im so thankful for all the things that she did to me when i was still a little edward. im gonna give her everything without asking. 'La miss na kita.. :(

BAD - i am a BAD person now to my family and i dont care. Really. I will let other people think whatever they want to think about me. I cant control their mind.

My father said before nung maglalayas ako ( i was in grade two that time):
"Just make sure when he leave this house, he brings all his stuff!".
- little did he know that i heard this? and what is the effect of this words to the mind of a little child?

i came to a point in my life where i wanna end my journey. i wanna kill myself. i wanna END my LIFE. nakalapat na nga ang cutter sa wrist ko eh. but thank you kay God. i realize na its not worth it. i just let them win. na i proved to them that i am nothing.

mas close ung relationship ko kay God at this point in my life, because He is the one always there for me aside from my lola.

Thankful ako sa kung anong meron ako ngaun at kung nasang estado man ako ng buhay ko. I dont care with what other people think of me. if you think that i am over confident and too mayabang, i dont care if youre not my friend.

At the end, it is still between ME and my LORD GOD. Thank You God for everything.
For protecting me and guiding me. For lending to me these talents that i use in my life. :)

sa mga taong nakasakit sa kin, im trying to erase and remove the anger and grudges in my heart. but as ive said im only human. TIME will heal WOUNDS.

LET the TIME do ITS JOB to HEAL the WOUND in ME that OTHER PEOPLE MADE.

at the moment, im just enjoying my life and living it up to the fullest! GodBless!

pasalubong nyo...

kamusta naman! aun oh! hahaha.. anong oras na? 10:56 am, sa sobrang antok ko dahil sa kulang sa tulog dahil sa mga gala eh ayan nagblog muna ko, break from the crosswalks, hahaha.. ano na ba nangyayari sa kin, hmm.. marami na.. wala na kong salapi.. bwahhaha.. aun naman! kailangan ng gamitin ang katawan! nyahahaha.. joke! cyempre kung pede naman sa legal na paraan bakit hindi? eh nasa amerika naman ako at legal naman ang pagbebenta ng laman, hmm.. ganun pa din?! hahaha..

antok kasi ako kaya bangag na naman. nagpost na ko ng pics sa multiply ko. effort talga mag-edit ng mga border. check nyo na lang. Click mo ito..

ano pa ba? nabobored na ko sa kwarto ko.. ahhaha.. wala lang.. then ung mga pasalubong, honestly speaking at walang OA, sobrang dami na.. pero my kulang pa rin, no ba yan!

di ko pa kasi naaway ung mga iba kong kaibigan, dagdag pa tuloy sa listahan.. hahahaha.. cyempre ang pasalubong hindi lang isang item, hindi pedeng cologne lang mula sa VS or B&B, dapat my kasama pa un.. eh imaginine mo sa dami nila.

pero on the other side, medyo mabaet ako ngaun compared last year when i went here also sa US. kasi last year wala akong binigay sa family ng father ko.. and honestly speaking ulit - di ko naisip bigyan ng pasalubong ung tatay ko.. hahaha.. sensya na,. di ako mabaet. inaamin ko naman na suwail na akong anak.

regarding sa pagiging suwail na anak, nakakapagod kasi ang sobrang baet. alam mo iyon.. mga tao ngaun mapang abuso na. ouch! hahaha.. nagpatakwil na ko kasi.. ;)

back to pasalubong, ayun nga.. ngaun dumami ung mga bibigyan ko ng pasalubong.
sa father side - mga tita ko (less than 10 more than 5), tapos family ng tatay ko, asawa nya, mga kapatid ko daw (step brother), tapos mga pamangkin ko, 2 kong tunay na kapatid at mga pinsan ko.

sa mother side - mga tita ko, tito ko, mga pamangkin ko, mga pinsan ko.

sa office ko dati - cyempre mga kaibigan ko at friends pa rin.. hahaha. mahaba haba ang listahan kasi sobra ko daw dami ng kaibigan - kalahati ng population ng kumpanya. ahahaha.. so mga nsa 100? bwahahha.. joke! hindi naman, cyempre resigned na ung mga datihan dun.. mga bagong mukha na ung nandun. company name before: GXS. now: GXS-IBM, latest: GXS-IBM-Accenture.. ahahhahaa..

bkit naging ganun? dahil ang mga bagong empleyado ay galing sa mga kumpanyang nabanggit. bakit? tanungin ang nakatataas.. hahaha.. cyempre close friends..

so un, balik tayo sa problema ko.. pano ko iuuwi ung mga pasalubong kong nabanggit? cyempre aside sa mga nakalaan pa sa mga tao sa taas eh my buffer pa un. in case my nakalimutan ako (wag naman sana) eh my maiabot pa rin ako.. hahhaha.. so meaning ubos na ung dalawa kong bag na 70lbs allowance for pasalubong pa lang.. goodluck edward! pano na ung mga pinamili kong damit dito? shipping na naman ito..no ba yan..

mauuwi ko nga mga pasalubong nyo, damit ko naman ang madedelay ng 2 buwan.. potek.. no ba yan.. dapat kasi wag akong mabaet ng sobra. tsktsk..

ayan kaya wala na kong pera.. hahaha...

Residence Inn by Marriott - Tallahasee (I10)

okay, why that title? its all about Residence Inn by Marriott (Tallahassee near I10). Anong meron? Makinig, makinig.. Ako'y my dala dalang balita galing sa hotel room ko.. bwahahhaa.. aun naman! my ganun... anyways, back to the topic. Ano nga bang meron sa Marriott? okay, ganito kasi iyon:

this Morning (US time - Monday), tinanggal ko ung "Do Not Disturb" na sign sa door so that the housekeeping will know that we are going to let our room be clean by them. Okay. Since the last cleaning was done Friday of last week (actually 2 days pa lang di nalilinis, maarte lang), i decided to have our room to be made by the housekeeping person. So, lunch break came. We went to our room to eat our lunch, as i am expecting it to be clean im disappointed. Wala pang nalilinis. towels pa lang ung kinuha. Thats fine. They still have the whole afternoon for that. But after office came, and when i entered the room, it was like - "Whats this?!".. my nagbago ba? sa ayos or sa whatsoever na nasa room ko? wala! as in Wala!

kamusta naman ako?! nagtitimpi na ko.. dahil wala akong towel on the first place, pano ko maliligo?! (though meron naman ako, iyong dala ko when i came here pero hindi cyempre merong towel hotel). So i went to the front desk and told the lady there of the story. So thats it. then someone came to our room, i think its the manager and then she saw my room. And it was a mess. kalat talga. (kasi nga last night nag ayos ako ng mga pasalubong, gunting dito gupit don). So cya na nag ayos ng room, and she said sorry. I said "Thank You" and thats fine. medyo calm na ko. mabaet naman kasi ako talga.. -devil grin-.. then kausap ko din si kuya mark and the same thing happen to their room. So i told the manager about the situation. And what she told me? "Grr.. im gonna kill that girl!" .. hahaha..

Imagine, Manager ka ng hotel, gagawa ka ng gawain ng housekeeping? thinking na its not under your job description. Well, so un nga ung nangyari.. hay..

Actually, i can let it passed naman, but the problem is naiinis ako ng ganung service. Im not that mean and i think i have the right to tell them what happened. and on the first place, hello - nasan ang towel ko?

ngayon what i feel is naaawa ako dun sa taong naka assign sa room namin na maglinis. im very much sure na papagalitan cya nung manager. i dont know. nandun ung being irresponsible then your right as a guest. well, sana wag ng maulit. and kung mauulit man, sana lumipat na kami ng bagong hotel. -Sana sa my downtown, dun sa malapit sa mga FSU and FAMU. hahaha.. mas maganda pa Residence Inn dun, hihihih..

So thats it.. ung pictures and gala, saka na.. tamad ngaun eh.. :D

Congrats JM!

my tita sent me a sms this morning (US time), telling me that my cousin JM will graduate as Cum Laude this coming April.
the exact messages was:

"Edward si JM cumlaude din, mana sa iyo."

Well, yeah, i graduated cumlaude also pero to say na mana sa kin, i think thats not right.
She have her own parents, or maybe napressure? I remember before when they already know that i will be graduating with honors, they tell my cousins if who among them will be graduating with honors also, the same as what i achieved.

dont know the real reason about that, but one thing is for sure.
She can use it on her advantage. :D

another info:
i didnt know that im running for cumlaude before. first and foremost, mataas ang tingin ko sa mga taong my ganitong karangalan.
and i know in myself that this is just a dream. hindi naman ako naghangad ng kahit ano when im still studying.
My reason: Nag aaral ako para sa kinabukasan ko. Para my diploma ako. Makahanap ng magandang trabaho. Iyon lang iyon.
So when our Dean told me na "Edward, dalin mo ung grades mo sa registrar, pacompute mo", so parang "ok po".
I dont have any idea on whats going on. Iyon pala, im on the watchlist. Well, thankful ako dun kasi nga i never expected anything with what all im doing in the school. Kasi ako ung tipo ng estudyante na papasok sa room, quiz, exam, lab, tapos wala na.Im not into extra curicular activities dahil that time my iba pa kong ginagawa.
and then they found out na i still need to go one more subject: NSTP
why? cause i still have one remaining ROTC subject, the MS22. I only took MS11, MS12, MS21 on my previous school.
So what my classmate told me? "Cumlaude na my NSTP!" hahaha..
reminder: im not the geek type ok? maybe nameet ko lang ung standards and ung grades na binigay sa kin ng mga prof ko is enough and sufficient na para matawag nga akong laude. thankful pa rin ako.

anyways, those are the days na sobrang thankful ako kay God because of the blessings that i received. I pray so hard for that thing to happen. And now, ok naman iyong job ko. Another reason for me to thank my Lord God.

So JM, goodluck in the professional world! Godbless and use whatever talents you have to help other people.

"These God given talents should not only be used for your own self, share to others."

a picture taken last year when i went to their house after i returned home from my training in the US.